THE INTERIOR GRACE OF PRAYER
From “The Spiritual Journal” of St Ignatius of Loyola4
◊◊◊
In the usual prayer, from beginning to end, I had the help of a very interior
and gentle grace, full of warm devotion and very sweet. While preparing the
altar and vesting, I saw a representation of the name of Jesus with much love,
confirmation and increased desire to follow him, accompanied by tears and
sobs.
All through the Mass very great devotion, on the whole, with many tears,
and several times loss of speech, all devotion and feeling being directed to Jesus.
I could not apply myself to the other Persons, except to the First Person as
Father of such a Son, with spiritual answers, how he is Father, how he is Son!
Having finished Mass, I had during the prayer that same feeling towards the
Son, and how I would have desired the confirmation of the Most Holy Trinity,
and felt that it was given to me through Jesus, when he showed himself to me
and gave me such interior strength and certainty of the confirmation, without
any fear of the future. The thought suggested itself to me to beg Jesus to obtain
pardon for me from the most Holy Trinity. I felt an increased devotion, tears
and sobs, and the hope of obtaining the grace, when I found myself so vigorous
and strengthened concerning the future.
Later…there was a fresh representation of Jesus with great devotion and
movement to tears. Later, as I walked through the street, I had a vivid
representation of Jesus with interior movements and tears. After I had spoken
with [Cardinal] Carpi, and was on the way home, I felt great devotion. After
dinner, especially when I passed through the door of the Vicar, in the house of
the Cardinal of Trani, I felt or saw Jesus, had many interior movements and
many tears, begging and praying Jesus to obtain pardon for me from the Most
Holy Trinity, while I felt remaining in me a great confidence of being heard.
At these times, when I sensed or saw Jesus, I felt so great a love within
me that I thought that nothing could happen in the future that would separate
me from Him, or cause me to doubt about the graces or confirmation I had
received.
4 reprinted in Light from Light, ed. by L. Dupre and J. Wiseman, OSB, New York: Paulist Press, 1988, pp. 266-267.9