Vigils Reading – St Augustine

THE IMMORTALITY

OF WISDOM

From the “Confessions” of St Augustine

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My studies which were deemed respectable had the objective of leading

me to distinction as an advocate in the law courts, where one’s reputation is high

in proportion to one’s success in deceiving people… I wanted to distinguish

myself as an orator for a damnable and conceited purpose, namely delight in

human vanity. Following the usual curriculum I had already come across a book

by a certain Cicero, whose language (but not his heart) almost everyone

admires. That book of his contains an exhortation to study philosophy and is

entitled Hortensius. The book changed my feelings. It altered my prayers, Lord,

to be towards you yourself. It gave me different values and priorities. Suddenly

every vain hope became empty to me, and I longed for the immortality of

wisdom with an incredible ardour in my heart. I began to rise up to return to

you. For I did not read the book for a sharpening of my style, which was what I

was buying with my mother’s financial support now that I was 18 years old and

my father had been dead for two years. I was impressed not by the book’s

refining effect on my style and literary expression but by the content.

My God, how I burned, how I burned with longing to leave earthly things

and fly back to you. I did not know what you were doing with me. For with you

is wisdom.

‘Love of wisdom’ is the meaning of the Greek word philosophia. This

book kindled my love for it. There are some people who use philosophy to lead

people astray. They lend color to their errors and paint over them by using a

great and acceptable and honorable name. Almost all those who in the author’s

times and earlier behaved in this way are noted in that book and refuted. That

text is a clear demonstration of the salutary admonition given by your Spirit

through your good and devoted servant Paul: See that none deceives you by

philosophy and vain deduction following human tradition; following the

elements of this world and not following Christ; in him dwells all the fullness of

divinity in bodily form.

At that time, as you know, light of my heart, I did not yet know these

words of the apostle. Nevertheless, the one thing that delighted me in Cicero’s

exhortation was the advice ‘not to study one particular sect but to love and seek

and pursue and hold fast and strongly embrace wisdom itself, wherever found.’

One thing alone put a brake on my intense enthusiasm – that the name of Christ

was not contained in the book. This name, by your mercy Lord, this name of my

Saviour your Son, my infant heart had piously drunk in with my mother’s milk,

and at a deep level I retained the memory. Any book which lacked this name,

however well written or polished or true, could not entirely grip me.