Vigils Reading -St Thomas

MY FAITH SEE YOU, LORD

From the writing of Bishop of Nikolai Velimirovich2 ◊◊◊

My faith sees You, Lord. It is the light and the farseeing vision of my eyes. It is the sensing of Your omnipresence. It pulls my knees to the ground and lifts my arms toward heaven. My faith is my soul’s contact with You. It prompts my heart to dance and my throat to sing. When a swallow draws near, the baby swallows become excited in the nest. For even in the distance they sense the coming of their mother. My faith is my excitement, for You are coming… If my friend is thinking of me while writing a letter in a distant city, I also dismiss other thoughts and think of my friend. My faith is my thinking about You, which prompts You, all-encompassing Lord, to think of me. When a lion is separated from his lioness, the lion’s eyes are distraught with longing for the lioness. My faith is my longing for You, when You are far from me, my Beauty.

When there is no sun, the most terrifying storms lash the sea. My faith is the calming of the storm within my soul, for Your light pours into me and pacifies me. My eyes said to me: “We do not see Him.” But I pacified them with the words: “The truth is, that you were not created to see Him but to see what is His.” My ears said to me: “We do not hear Him.” But I brought them to their senses with the words: “The truth is, that you were not created to hear Him but to hear what is His.” Nothing of all that is created can see or hear Him but only what is His. What is created sees and hears what is created. Only what is begotten of Him can see Him. And only what is begotten of Him can hear Him. A painting cannot see the painter, but the son of a painter can see the painter. A bell cannot hear a bell-caster, but the daughter of a bell-caster can hear her father.

The eye cannot see Him because it was not created for the purpose of seeing Him. The ear cannot hear Him, because it was not created for the purpose of hearing Him. But vision can see Him, and hearing can hear Him. My faith sees You, Lord, just as what is begotten sees its begetter. My faith hears You, Lord, just as what is begotten hears its begetter. The God within me sees and hears the God in You. And God is not created but begotten. My faith is like diving into the abyss of my soul and swimming out with You. My faith is my only genuine knowledge. Everything else is like the children collecting motley pebbles by the lake.

My faith is the only genuine interest of my life. Truly everything else is a comedy of the senses. When I say: “Give me more faith”–I am thinking: “Give my me more of Yourself, O my Father and God.