Vigils Reading – SS Peter & Paul

WHEN PRAYER BECOMES WONDER

From the letters of John of Dalyatha5 ◊◊◊

Understand, my brother, Our Lord said to Simon, chief of the Apostles: I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of heaven, that you may close and open to all whom you wish. And not only to Simon did he give this power, but also to all lovers of the Truth. Now prayer consists in knocking at the door of the Giver; but the one who has entered the Kingdom and has taken possession of its treasures, how can he knock at the door?… He enjoys the good things within and he is amazed and marvels at the beauty of the Good One. But it would be absurd to say that he is actually praying, for he is utterly inebriated with the beauty of the most glorious Bridegroom… How can such a one prostrate at the door to beg like a wayfarer, while in his hands are the keys of the treasury, to take from and to give; to live and to give life?

But you will say: Why did Simon go up on the roof to pray, and why does the great Paul say: Pray always? These Apostles, my brothers, use such things with us which, insofar as they are known to us, are ones which are suitable for us… It is the Spirit Himself who prays for us, says St. Paul. This then is the working of the Spirit and not the stirrings of prayer. As he said: God has shone forth in our hearts, and his Spirit searches His depths and reveals to us His mysteries. We may have wanted to make this prayer ourselves, but the Spirit of Jesus would not permit it because we have the mind of Christ to see the mysteries of the house of the Father.

So then they have gone into the place of wonder. They have gained power in the world of visions; the Spirit has united them to the wondrous beauty; they no longer get weary in prayer; they no longer weep at the door; no longer do they cry from afar: “Show us your beauty!” They no longer ask like beggars: “Share with us your riches!” They give because they have received; they share because they have grown rich; they give rest because they are given rest in the harbor of life; they rejoice and they give joy because they are drunk with the love of the Beautiful One. Streams of living waters flow from within him who believes in me… These waters give life to others and give drink to the thirsty…

But perhaps you will say: “You speak of wonder but I do not know the power of this wonder.” I offer as witness the word of a brother worthy of belief who says: “When the grace of my God is pleased with me and draws my intellect to astonishment at the vision of Him, my intellect remains all the day without stirrings in the place of wonder and when it goes out from there, it prays and earnestly entreats that the light of the concealed One, which is hidden within him, may shine out in the world full of wonder.” From this time forward, it is no longer a place of words in which the pen is able to flow with ink; here a limit is set: silence. Only the mind is able to pass over and to see this resting-place of all the mysteries. The mind has power to go in and to marvel at the wonderful beauty which is above all and hidden within all.

Thus every prayer which is not transformed now and then into wonder at the mysteries, has not yet arrived at perfection… To these things you will say: “Do not speak of things of which you are not capable; do not say what you have not experienced.” Truly, I incline my head in shame, I am silent and I take refuge in mercy. Help me by prayer