Vigils Reading – St John XXIII

Spiritual Testament and Last Wishes by St. Pope John XXIII ¹

On the point of presenting myself before the One and Triune Lord who created me, redeemed me, chose me to be his priest and bishop, and covered me with unending graces, I entrust my poor soul to His mercy; I humbly ask pardon for my sins and deficiencies. I offer Him the little good, although petty and imperfect, that with His aid I have succeeded in doing, for His glory, for the service of Holy Church, for the edification of my brethren, begging Him finally to receive me, like a good and kind Father, with His Saints into eternal happiness.

I profess once again with all my heart my entire Christian and Catholic faith, my adherence and subjection to the Holy Apostolic and Roman Church, and my complete devotion and obedience to her August Head, the Supreme Pontiff, whom it was my great honor to represent for long years in various regions of the East and West, who at the end chose me to come to Venice as Cardinal and Patriarch, and whom I have always followed with sincere affection, aside from and above any dignity conferred upon me. The sense of my own littleness and nothingness has always been my good companion, keeping me humble and calm, and making me amploy myself to the best of my ability in a constant exercise of obedience and charity for souls and for the interests of the Kingdom of Jesus, my Lord and my all. To Him be all glory; for me and for my merit, His mercy. “My merit is the mercy of the Lord. O Lord, You know everything: You know that I love You.” This alone is enough for me.

I ask pardon of those whom I have unwittingly offended, of all to whom I have not been a source of edification. I feel that I have nothing to forgive anyone, for all who have known and dealt with me – including those who have offended me, scorned me, held me in bad esteem (with good reason, for that matter), or have been a source of affliction for me – I regard solely as brothers and benefactors, to whom I am grateful and for whom I pray and always will pray.               – over –

Born poor, but of honorable and humble people, I am particularly happy to die poor, having given away, in accord with the various demands and circumstances of my simple and modest life, for the benefit of the poor and of Holy Church that had nurtured me, all that came into my hands – which was little enough as a matter of fact – during the years of my priesthood and episcopacy. Outward appearances of ease and comfort often veiled hidden thorns of distressing poverty and kept we from giving with all the largess I would have liked. I thank God for this grace of poverty which I vowed in my youth, poverty of spirit as a priest of the Sacred Heart, and real poverty. This grace has sustained me in never asking for anything, neither positions nor money, nor favors – never, not for myself, nor for my relatives or friends.

The goodness directed toward my poor person by all whom I met along the path made my life serene. As I face death, I recall each and every one – those who preceded me in taking the final step, those who will survive me and who will follow me. May they pray for me. I will repay them from Purgatory or from Paradise, where I hope to be received. I repeat it once again, not because of my merits, but because of the mercy of the Lord.

At the moment for saying farewell, or better still, arrivederci, I once more remind everyone of what counts most in life: blessed Jesus Christ, His Holy Church, His Gospel; and in the Gospel, above all, the Pater nosterin the spirit and heart of Jesus and the Gospel, the truth and goodness, the goodness meek and kind, active and patient, victorious and unbowed.

My children, my brethren, arrivederci. In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

1The Encyclicals and Other Messages of John XXIII – TPS Press – Washington DC – 1964 – pg 465