Dear brothers and sisters – “the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews.”
We lock our doors because we are afraid of other people. We are afraid that other people will come into our houses when we are away and steal things from us. We are afraid that other people will come into our houses when we are there and threaten us with violence. We want to protect ourselves and our families, from other people. We believe that it is only prudent to lock our doors. Not to do so would be irresponsible, equivalent to inviting other people to harm us.
There are other things we do because we are afraid of other people. Here in the United States, it is common for people to arm themselves with guns of various kinds. Sometimes our fear of others leads to tragedy. I remember reading about a man who shot and killed his daughter who was returning late from a party because he thought she was an intruder. Accidents kill children because their families are careless about the guns in the house. People with guns in their cars can sometimes shoot other drivers on the roads when they become infuriated with them. But for most people, these are reasonable risks that must be taken in order to feel safer.
Countries lock their doors as well. Citizens may feel threatened by migrants. Migrants take jobs needed for citizens, they might be criminals fleeing from their own countries, they are different, often from different cultures and races. Some citizens may fear that immigrants will change the country they live in, bringing in other religions, other ethnic practices that clash with their own values. As a result, borders are locked.
Countries, too, arm themselves against the threat of other people. Nations are ready to defend themselves. This is only prudent. It would be irresponsible not to be ready to use the military to defend us. Vladimir Putin explains that Russia is only defending itself against Western intrusion. The Western powers are trying to extend the NATO alliance to Russia’s very borders, and it needs a buffer zone as an area of defence against possible aggression. Their actions against Ukraine are not aggression, but only self defence.
We lock our doors. We are ready to defend ourselves. Out of fear of other people.
The disciples today are behind locked doors. Jesus, their companion and teacher, has just been executed, and as his followers, they feel vulnerable and afraid for their lives. They believe that the authorities want to round them up as well, to put an end to any potential uprising. They may well have swords with them, as Peter had on the night Jesus was arrested, to defend themselves if the authorities should break in.
But locked doors don’t stop Jesus. He walks right through as if they weren’t there.
We read in the other Gospels that the disciples were afraid that Jesus was a ghost. That would be a natural conclusion, since dead people don’t just get up and start walking through walls. But Jesus reassures them that he is indeed in his body, by showing them his wounds. His wounds are his identification. The disciples then realize the truth and are overjoyed.
But among the disciples, there is another kind of locked door. The locked door of the heart. Thomas refuses to believe the other disciples. Why has Thomas locked the door of his heart? Perhaps because the loss of Jesus, with whom he was ready to die earlier, was too great for him to bear. He feels that if he opens himself to hope, he will only have to relive that grief all over again when his brothers turn out to have been deceived in some way.
For Thomas, too, Jesus’s wounds will be his identification. Only if his wounds are physical, can be seen and touched, will he be convinced of the miracle the others claim.
And Jesus comes to Thomas, specifically to Thomas. This time, Jesus has to walk through two locked doors, the door to the room and the door to Thomas’s heart.
The reading from Acts today shows us a very different group of disciples. They are not behind locked doors, but out in the open, preaching to the people, walking among them, healing them, showing by their example that Jesus is alive and working in them. They are willing to suffer and die if necessary to spread this truth.
Jesus received his wounds because he did not hide behind locked doors, because he did not try to defend himself from other people. Although he naturally wanted to avoid his torture and death if possible, when his time came he did not fear anything that other people could do to him. His wounds were a result of his lack of fear, of the lack of his need to defend himself from anyone. Instead of fear, he showed compassion. He asked his Father to forgive those who were driving in the nails. He reached out to comfort the thief who was crucified beside him. He made sure that his mother would be taken care of. Even as he was dying, he was completely defenseless, completely concerned for other people, even for those who were killing him.
We too are wounded, in our heads, in our hands, in our feet, in our hearts. And in many ways these wounds are our identification, they shape who we are, our preferences and desires, the choices we have made. We are wounded in our minds when we are full of opinions and prejudices. We are wounded in our hands when we use them to push people away, to keep them at arm’s length. We are wounded in our feet when we follow our own desires in preference to the good of others. We are wounded in our hearts when we believe that we can’t trust others, that we have to fend for ourselves. We can hide behind locked doors, behind weapons and ammunition out of fear of others. Our wounds can lock the doors between ourselves and others, between ourselves and Jesus.
But our wounds can also be the source of our compassion for others. If Jesus could penetrate the locked door of the upper room, and the locked door of Thomas’s heart, then he can also penetrate our own locked hearts, can walk right through our defences, our illusions, and our excuses. He can teach us that others are wounded in just the same way we are, that we are all in the same boat. Our pain, our sorrow, our grief is shared by all of humankind. Our wounded minds can heal others, our wounded hands can reach out and touch, our wounded feet can carry us toward each other, stand together in community, our wounded hearts can feel compassion for all who are suffering, as we are suffering, as Jesus suffered. Our wounds are everyone’s wounds, are Jesus’s wounds. We are healed, as it says somewhere, by Jesus’s wounds. Our wounds are a necessary part of being human. Our salvation is because of our wounds, which we share with Jesus, through our wounds, not in spite of them.
So when Jesus walks through our locked doors, as he does all the time, and shows us that he is our fellow sufferer, that our wounds are redeemed through his wounds, we can fall to our knees and say with Thomas, “My Lord and my God.”